Seriously the greatest thing to do when you've got nothing going on during the day:
Get high with someone awesome, make yourselves good drinks, wear sunglasses that make all the colors look like autumn, sit in a secluded area of a state park, listen to Shaw, Dorsey, Goodman, and Miller, and eat peaches.
I have new sunglasses that make everything look like Instagram
Which is cool, but when I wear them and look at an Instagram photo, it’s a little too dark to see, which is also cool because it’s probably a really stupid picture. People in like 100 years are going to think when looking back on our pictures that the world suddenly turned colors. “Son, when my father was growing up, everything was sepia-toned. And everybody was an artist and worshipped the food they were eating at any given moment.”
You know, it’s a little hard for vegetarians and vegans not to be pretentious when everybody always has some stale joke to say when the subject comes up, that they think isn’t offensive at all, and they think it’s so fucking witty. Yeah you may not have meant it as an insult, but seriously, we hear it all the fucking time, and we kind of want to punch you in your fucking face. So don’t blame us for acting superior when you are the ones making a big deal about it and thinking you’re so much better that you can just say whatever you damn well please. And when you think we’re missing out on some paradisiacal wonder when we refuse to eat meat, you’re wrong. We’ve all made the conscious decision to abstain from eating sentient beings. We have conviction, so what’s wrong with that? And it’s funny how those who don’t eat meat tend to know more about how your glorious food is the most poorly prepared food in terms of hygienics, since 99% of the meat you eat is splattered with essence of the animal’s own shit, puss, and other bodily fluids. So, you enjoy your meat and I’ll enjoy my health, and we’ll both shut the fuck up.
Please give us back literature. We will pay you any amount you want in cash. That’s all you wanted right? That’s why you wrote a book that even a near-illiterate, white trash, middle aged, unsatisfied woman who hasn’t picked up a book since she was required to do so in high school could read. Right?
Scholars, intellectuals, good writers, avid readers, and really just about everybody who cares about the progression of the collective human mind and the continued hope for the human race
Why is Neville's speech in the last Harry Potter movie so terrible?
I feel nothing. I feel like it wouldn’t be so terrible if Voldemort succeeded, because his speeches wouldn’t have been as god awful as Neville’s, which was just about the worst rallying attempt ever. I thought Aragorn’s speech was bad in comparison to Theoden’s from The Return of the King, but seriously, Neville, go hang yourself up from the chandelier again.
And then he like pulls out the sword and does nothing with it while Harry is all like “Just kidding. Still alive.”
"You know, Voldemort. You’re kind of being a dick. So, could you please, you know, just… stop it. That would be awesome." -A shitty, yet still better speech than Neville’s